Wednesday, 21 December 2011

....on a come back trail

Another stab at reviving this blog and my attempts at writing . Its been more than a year since I last wrote and lot of things have transpired since then.

  • We won a world cup and then promptly lost to England

  • Yeddi is no longer the CM and a person who was better suited to record canned laughter for sitcoms has taken over the reins of the state.

  • Lokpal and second freedom struggle is in progress

  • Sibal and Diggy raja have rewritten the rules for speaking without thinking.

  • Ra.One became a blockbuster in terms of the jokes, tweets and online discussions it generated.

  • Namma Metro finally saw the light of the day.

  • Rahul baba is still our youth leader and the next great hope for the country

  • Behenji honoured the F1 by presiding and presenting the trophy to Vettel (who lost the next 2 races - not that I am insinuating anything)

  • Didi and Amma resoundingly slapping the Commies and Stalin

  • Pawar did the opposite and got slapped.

  • Reality shows and News channels providing wholesome 'family' entertainment.

Big Apple beckoned me and I obliged......

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Balls ..from down under....

What ho ? my dear readers.... I believe aal is well with you. At least I haven't seen any requests for new posts to suggest otherwise.

Well lotsa things to say , dunno where to begin. Well let me dispense off with the bad news first. As I mentioned in my previous entries, I am now no longer a bachelor. I got hitched couple of months ago. I will write about the actual wedding sometime later when the pain has lessened.

I have been performing my duties of a husband faithfully..err..i.e showing absolutely no interest in what she is talking, glued to the lap top all the time ignoring her, spending more time in reading books and watching movies and of course leaving her and flying to Australia.

Yes, am in Ozland. I am supposed to be helping out the clients in specing some requirements and also doing some enhancements. But in truth I dunno what I am doing here. All those could have been accomplished from offshore itself. But I am not in the habit of looking in the mouth of a gift horse (or any horse for that matter!).

Before leaving, I had to undergo a mandatory cross cultural workshop which explained how one should behave in Australia, what to expect when interacting with Australians and Do's and Dont's etc. So I was geared up and ready for some Aussie style slangs and fun. But who ever designed that workshop couldn't be more misinformed !. In my office I have seen Asians, Indians (no they are not Asians. Asians refer to Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, Indonesians etc), Americans, Brits, Europeans. Trues blue Aussies are a rare breed and my hope of learning a few colourful Aussie slang still remains a hope..

Of all the times, I land here in the middle of winter which I must say is not the ideal time to visit. I mean its cold, overcast and rainy. How could one expect to hit the beaches this weather?

The other thing is most of the attractions in Sydney are in the outdoors and winter isn't the right time to see them. There are beaches and one cant expect bikini clad babes cavorting in the sun at this time of the year. But hope (and plain lechery) makes one do strange things and I did go to a couple of beaches only to be welcomed at one of them by a fat bellied gentleman trying to work on his abs, the sight of which I hope will not scar me for life.

Apart from beaches, I visited a zoo, couple of aquariums, a wild life world which I must say was quite good. Fishes,snakes, Lizards, sharks, sting rays and of course Crocs, Kangaroos, Koalas. I have seen quite a lot of them now. One of the aquariums were also offering to put me in the shark tank along with a few sharks and sting rays just for the fun of it and for a payment of few dollars. Now I knew Australians were a crazy lot and I admire that. But they cant ask me to pay for becoming shark food. No Sir!

The other thing I did was watch Inception. Yes the latest creation from the brain of Christopher Nolan which has been making people to get in to vicious debates (often starting with questioning the intellectual capacity of one another and invariably leading to the ancestral traits) in online forums. I thought it was a very clever movie and one which made the audience to think and involve. If you already don't know, its about dreams and a bunch of people who steal or implant ideas in human brain through dreams. Though there is enough action, chases and explosions to satiate the need of an average move goer, its a movie which makes one think about the possibilities of human mind.

More than the movie, I am intrigued by the notion of one entering another's dream and planting ideas. I could make use of such a technology. Apart from making my wife think that I am the ideal husband ever and worship me, I can probably make my clients to offer me more on site trips and also get in to my manager's brain to ...well that's impossible, nothing can grow in vacuum..not even ideas...

I have been writing this for quite some days now... haven't been able to publish it till now....Meanwhile visited the sunshine state of Australia, Queensland and got a taste of the gold coast and what it offers. Visited the Australia Zoo and crikey ! they are doing a fabulous job of carrying on the legacy of the croc hunter.

Also visited the Blue Mountains, which is a great place- only if you are a strapping young lad and not a geriatric like me. Must have walked at least 8-10km exploring the forests, nature trails and of course proved that I am still deficient in the grey matter by climbing a steep stairway of about 900 steps cut in to the side of the cliff (often at the edge) and spending the next couple of days hobbling around with pain.

As my stay at down under is nearing an end, I am in the look out for the obvious souvenirs which is taking me to a lot of different places. Apart from the usual trinkets and whatnot's, here's one which will surely be a conversation piece if you display it in your living room. Any takers?

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Wedding vows.....

Hmm….now now…..where do I begin…. Its been so long since I exercised my literary skills (you can laugh, I won’t mind).

So what have I been up to?….. As indicated in my previous post that I am treading the path that no man has ever willingly trodden, but inevitably ends up walking.

There comes a time in man’s life when he has to take stock of his life and answer some very serious questions. Such as..
  • Do you agree to spend 5 hrs for shopping a tea-cup?
  • Do you like to paint your room pink?
  • Do you agree to wait for her for 4 hrs to get ready to go to a 30 mins event?
  • Do you pretend to like reality shows where repeat offenders and bimbos seek matrimonial alliances?
  • Will you stop visiting naughty websites?
  • Will you stop ogling at girls, unless specifically asked by her to compare her with the said girl?
  • And after comparing, would you agree that she is much better (irrespective of what the comparison was for) than the said girl?

I have somehow worked up the courage to say ‘I do’ to all the above questions and take the big leap.As I mentioned to my lady the other day, the below verse succinctly sums up my life till now and what the future holds for me.

“ನಿನ್ನೆ ತನಕ ನಾನು ಉಂಡಾಡಿ ಗುಂಡ
ನಾಳೆಯಿಂದ ನಿನ್ನ ಗಂಡ”

Roughly it translates to,

“Till yesterday, I was a bloke with no errand
But from the morrow, I am your husband”

Have had an interesting time since engagement. Trying to understand each other-which is very important. I guess I handled it pretty well by not responding to her messages, falling asleep in the middle of conversations, taking her to cartoon movies, spending lots of time in book and dvd shops completely ignoring her. In short she now has adjusted her expectations from me, which I guess is none.

So here I am standing at the brink of my bachelorhood, staring at the vast ocean of marital life awaiting the day when I’ll be pushed in to it without a life buoy to cling on to…. I guess that’s what adventure of your lifetime is all about…..

Monday, 12 October 2009

Too lazy to find an appropriate title.......

Yes, I wasn't here for some time now. I know many of you would have missed me just like we missed Himesh Reshamiyya's voice all these days. But as you know, Himesh bhai is back with his new voice and lo am here too.

So the last time I made an appearance here I was in London, doing something which I had no clue of (for that matter nobody had and has even now), content in cooking for my room mates (yeah, I am an expert cook and my ex-room mates will vouch for it albeit with a wince) and looking for where my next opportunity to get in to a embarrassing situation would come from. In short it was idyllic.

But that's a story of the past. Lot of water has flown under the bridge of my life after that. For starters, I have aged one more year and have almost reached the age where young girls no longer offer to modify your facial anatomy with the application of the tool used to aid in ambulation when you stare lecherously at them (not that I am saying I am one). Now a days girls give me the same respect as they give to someone who is a senior citizen, which means basically none.

Apart from that, I am back in India doing the same old thing here again. If you are the unfortunate ones who had to read through my earlier posts, all my esteemed peers, whom I look up to are very much there, offering their insightful and unforgettable advice to me. Got promotion and before you have the thoughts of increased pay check let me tell you that I am getting less than what I used to get before promotion. The guys in the finance must have been smoking some pretty strong stuff when they were coming up with the pay structure. And I had to do some stuff and say some things which to all others seemed pretty rational and logical, but earned me sobriquets like 'attitude problem', 'changed a lot' from the powers above. Well let me just say that sometimes the environment becomes charged up with sparks flying all over like the faulty transformer near my home.

All these put me in such a state that I had lost my writing mojo and was trying to look for inspiration to continue my contribution to the literary world. Then two things happened..

The first one was the fruit of all the prayers of my well wishers (dunno if I can call them that). At last I seem to have made some headway in to getting a better half and can say that it might not be that long where I can reminisce about the good old bachelor days. Now if that's not an inspiration to come up with pageful of paeans to all things wonderful in life, then I dunno what else is. Added to that the fact that the lady in question suffered through all my previous posts and had enough consideration to say that she liked them and asked me to write more. I ask 'What else a budding writer can look for in his future soul mate?'. 'A better taste in literature ....' some of the cynical among you might say. But I don't care.

The other thing is that a famous blogger and a world celebrity, whose comments are quoted in leading newspapers all over the world deemed it fit to grace his eyes on my humble blog and graciously left a comment in my last post. Though the comment was for the video which I had linked rather than my writing skills, I am a contented man. For someone who had to ask (read it beg) his friends to read his blog, this is indeed a momentous occasion . This as they has added a spring in my step and I am more determined than before to write.

Though I will have to get all my posts vetted by the censorship board (OK, if you don't
understand this, you are still single) before hand and make sure I add a word of praise in each of them, I'll make sure you will still be regaled with all my experiences as I have more opportunities to make a complete fool of myself. You may ask am I not one now?, I feel there is still a lot of room for improvement and I am a staunch supporter of continual learning. Also the more experienced brethren whom I am gonna join will definitely agree with me, if they are permitted to do so ofcourse.....

Friday, 10 July 2009

Friday late office

Sitting through a major outage and a marathon conference call (not to mention 15 hours in office)which is not leading to anywhere.
Not knowing what to do, trawled through the net looking for mind altering experiences. Obviously the stuff I usually look for is barred in office. But in my travels through the web, found this .... and am still recovering from it...