Friday, 7 December 2007

The Mouse that Scored (squeak...squeakieee..squeak)

Here is the latest from my life. I know by reading this your life doesn't get better, your travails remain the same. But atleast after reading this you'll realise that tackling your problems and fighting your daily tensions is better than reading my creative diarrhoea....


I travel by trains here.Usually the service is good. But sometimes delays and cancellations happen. The usual reasons are equipment failure, signal problems, faulty rails etc....But today there was a new one...trains were delayed due to animals on track !! (and these goras talk about animals on Indian roads... what a gall !!!). I never knew that the animals here in UK are such a oppressed lot that they have to resort to rail rokho for the authorities to hear their demands !!!.

Now lets come to the main topic of my rambling.....

Fate works in mysterious ways indeed. I will be the first to whole heartedly agree if somebody says that I am a dumb duffer when it comes to interacting with the gentle sex(My college mates can give a testimonial for this and also I have a slam book in which every girl has written that she has not spoken to me much to write something good about me but still they did which was sweet). I have this congenital mental block which stops me from acquainting girls. But never in my dreams I had imagined that a mouse would help me to converse with a lady.


Enough of prologue...lets come to the heart of the matter (or matter of the hearts I wonder ?). There is this pretty girl who sits behind me. Yours truly was impressed by her charm, liveliness and smile. Being a perfect gentleman (there are two views about this, I say I am and everybody else say not in a million years) that I am, I could not talk to her until I am introduced to her properly. After 3 months of silence, lady fate decided to help me and sent a mouse ....
Our office is infested with mice and one particular mouse lives in the area where I sit. I had encountered this mouse earlier when I found that a chocolate bar which I had left in my shelf had grown short over the course of the night. I being what I am never saw the teeth marks until I had eaten half of the bar (then I consoled myself that the teeth marks were at the other end and the piece I had eaten had remained untouched). I also used to see this mouse making its sojourn from one table to another in broad daylight and decided that the mouse was on the payroll of my clients as I was sure unless this was an official pest designated to eat the chocolates and biscuits stored by people, there was no way it could exist in the office. The security is too tight, they won't allow people who have forgotten their ID cards in. So I thought the mouse must be a employee.


Since the mouse had eaten my namak (yes the chocolate had a little bit of salt in it), deep in its tiny heart it sympathised with my inability to converse with the above mentioned girl (hope you are still remember her and have not lost her in this 'mouse grouse'). It decided to help me and traipsed to her table....


I heard a shriek (typical scientifically proven female behaviour in the presence of mice, roaches, lizards, Gulshan Grover and Shakthi Kapoor !!). When I turned around, saw a gaggle of people trying to find the mouse, which had already made its escape and hid under my desk. There was lot of hullabaloo and I was sitting there as calmly as Buddha. The girl comes over to me and says 'There is a mouse around here' (what a wonderful first line spoken by a girl to a boy ever) and I said 'I know' (equally wonderful !). Then I proceeded to say how the mouse is eating my food, how its roaming in broad daylight and affecting my work(that's a great excuse for non performance, must remember it during my next appraisal meeting), how its haunting my dreams. In general I assasinated the mouse's character to such an extent that it now has no hopes of getting married.
We had a good conversation about how pests are bad and how they must be controlled. I whole heartedly agreed that the mouse should be apprehended, tried and sentenced to life for terrorising her. (Mr.Mouse, if you are reading this (why the title of the blog has mousian trnslation), I know I have hurt your feelings. Here was a noble mouse, who with full of musculane kindness, helped me to talk to the girl. And I was deriding it just to extend my conversation for a few minutes. I know I have betrayed you, but there is a saying in the homo sapien world which goes 'every thing's fair in ....'. I am sure you have something equivalent in your lingo)

I hope this is the start of a wonderful friendship between me and the mouse.(did you think between me and the girl?...no of course not. How can it be possible?. We cannot talk about mice all the time and apart from the mouse connection we don't have anything in common which can can help in building a friendship, unless Cupid (yes I have named the mouse Cupid..for obvious reasons) does an encore. So its bye-bye cute girl. It was good while it lasted (the conversation I mean...it was wonderful, witty, engaging and involved a lot of err....mouse).


Cupid...where art thou?. I am here professing my undying friendship to you. If you ever have a problem with hooking up with a she-mouse and require the services of a pest to terrorise the hell out of her, you know where to find one. Yes just there where you found that dairy milk bar in the shelf(I have left some more chocolates for you there as a mark of my gratitude and also removed the rat bait which was set up for you). All you have to do is just ask(I mean squeak)......


P.S: In recent times two rodents have made me smile. One is ofcourse Cupid and the other is Remy (If you haven't seen it....go watch it)





2 comments:

Pradeep said...

Interesting cupidity!!! urs & cupid's....

Ravi Kiran said...

@pradeep, yes interesting indeed