Friday, 12 September 2008


"There is a client visit on Monday"

"Yes Sir"

"I want statistics from Jan 2007 till date and I want graphs too"

"Yes Sir"

"I want it now"

"Yes sir"

"Also I want a few flow charts which depicts our processes and I want it to be stuck on the wall there so that the client can have a look at them"

"Yes Sir"

"Print it on A3 sheet and in Colour"

"Yes Sir"

After sometime

"Come here, all the data you provided is wrong"

"What Sir?"

"Its showing that our SLA is way above the limits, our 'Mean Time To Resolution' is very high and system availability is very low. That can't be right. Our project is in very good shape."

"Err Sir, this is the actual data"

"Oh is it?"

"Yes Sir"

"We can't possibly show this to the client, can we?"

"No Sir"

" Can you tweak the data and reproduce the graphs so that they look good?"

"Honestly Sir !! , you want me to falsify data?"

"Its not falsifying, its just a strategic adjustment of available information towards achieving maximum customer satisfaction"

"Ok Sir !!!"

"Do it ASAP"

"Yes Sir"

After some more time

"Now that the data and graphs are fine, whats the progress on the flow charts?"

"I have completed the flow charts Sir, Could you please look at it"

"Hmm...looks fine, can you remove this cylinder thingy from the middle?, its ruining the symmetry of the flow chart"

"Err...Sir, its the database, It has to be in the middle"

"oh !, ok print them out and stick them on the wall"

"Sir, there is a small problem, the Admin department disabled the printer in our ODC. Apparently they caught somebody printing a 1000 page book called 'Managing for Dummies' "

"Er....ok ..ok, you use the printer in the other ODC, its still working"

"Ok Sir"

"I'll help you in sticking them to the wall"

After some more more time

"Sir, I have got the print outs"

"What are you doing here then?, Go stick them"

"You told that you will help me"

"Aah yes, take this cellophane tape, use it. Its my personal one, so make sure you return it back to me after using. I am leaving for the day. Make sure that you stick them before you leave"

Next Day

"I see that you have stuck those charts"

"Yes Sir"

"It doesn't look right"

"Why?, Sir"

"The first chart should have been in the middle and then that picture and then those two charts. It all looks cluttered now"

"Is it Sir?"

"You should make effective utilization of space. If you were in doubt, you should have asked me, I am always here to help"

"Sir, You had already left and when I tried you cell phone and it was switched off"

"Ok, ok...You will have to re do this, remove everything and stick them again"

"Sir ?"

"Do it ASAP and as usual I will help you" ....................

Disclaimer: The usual one


Anonymous said...

did this actually happen ??

Ravi Kiran said...

Very much....