Thursday, 2 October 2008

Thats a lot of hot air...................

Top 20 Management Terminologies (and what they really mean)


A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still pissing in the wind.


EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.


CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.


MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.


CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.


PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.


TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.


THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person who understood the thing quit.


IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.


WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for now.


PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.


GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.


GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull!


SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely.


ALL NEW - Not interchangeable with the previous design.


YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - It finally worked!


LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.


ITS IN TESTING RIGHT NOW- we have no idea how to do this.


WE ARE USING FOCUS GROUPS EXTENSIVELY- Maybe they know how its done.


OUR ONLY OPTION IS TO REENGENEER THE PROCESS- How else can we justify firing most of the existing staff without looking like complete idiots.


Courtesy: Ashok K L

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